So I have this friend that I studied with a few years ago. We were always pretty close but we lost touch for a few years when I changed degrees. We got back in touch recently and its as if nothing has changed. Actually, nothing has. He’s still the same sweet, caring guy I knew then. He still has the same girlfriend too (going on something like 8 years now) and there are still no marriage plans. I wonder sometimes what’s going on.
But anyway, this has made me think a bit. What if you’re in a relationship with someone for that long, and marriage is something you’ve thought about, but haven’t acted on yet? What are you waiting for? I think if that was me, the only reason I would have delayed was if I had a doubt in my mind about whether its something I really want forever. The thought could have been planted by, I think, any of the following:
1. Something your partner did
2. Something you want to do but haven’t because your partner is holding you back
3. Something your partner said or their behaviour towards something
4. Someone else’s views that made you think outside the box
I’m not saying that if your partner did or said something, that it is wrong. I’m saying that if it was something that you didn’t feel good about because of your own personal views, then yes, its good to accept it if you love the person, but at the same time, it may not be something you should ignore. Is it worth living forever with that feeling?
Something I heard from the movie Marley and Me: “Mend it, don’t end it”. Its difficult making decisions like this.
In my friend’s case, I hope he makes the right decision. Personally, I don’t think the girl is right for him. I just hope he doesn’t end up marrying her and ruining his life. Dear friend, think long term. Marriage is not a joke. You’re a good guy, don’t make a decision you know you’re going to regret, especially when there will be children involved.
As for me? Depends. If I was married, I’d try to mend it to the best of my ability. If I wasn’t married, I’d reevaluate everything and if its not worth it, I’d end it. Its better to end it sooner than later, right?